Day 75
Halong Bay, Vietnam

On any extended visit to Hanoi, a visit to mysterious Halong Bay, with its 3,000 limestone islands jutting into the Gulf of Tonkin, is a must. Although we got a taste of this beauty while on the beaches of southern Thailand, we had heard such rave reviews of this Unesco World Heritage Site that we booked an overnight tour aboard the Lagoon Explorer that left this morning.

A 3-hour transfer, which included a stop at either an arts & crafts village or a sweat shop, brought us to Halong City, an overdeveloped eyesore, where we were quickly herded onto the boat. The crew welcomed us aboard the highly lacquered replica junk boat, at which time we realized that there were only four rooms, of which we would have three. The last was taken by a great Aussie couple — who actually didn’t seem to mind being with a bunch of young American guys.

After being treated to a delicious seafood lunch, we picked up anchor and began our tour through the emerald and tranquil waters of the Gulf. We passed through some amazing coves while sweating profusely on deck.

Several hours later, we were desperate for a swim. At Cua Van, a floating village, we were given the opportunity to go kayaking — nothing like 100-degree weather to make you appreciate a post-exercise dip.

Around 6 p.m., we moored for the night in a placid lagoon. Thankfully, the sun gave us some respite and we had the chance to hang out on deck again and take in our pretty spectacular surroundings.

Being on a boat like this in Vietnam in late June certainly gave Aswan a run for its money as the hottest day of my life. And, although the clouds infringed on our sunset, we happy obliged if it meant cooler weather.

We gathered everyone up for a big pre-dinner game of Uno! (of which your author was victorious) and then chowed down on some barbecued meats and seafood. The food was quite good. After dessert, an obscene lighting storm rolled in and we sat outside debating what might happen if our mast were struck. The humidity was still pretty unbearable, so we retreated to our air-conditioned sanctuaries for some sleep at around 10 p.m. — perhaps my earliest bedttime in 75 days.

Day 74
Hanoi, Vietnam

We didn’t really know what we were getting ourselves into after signing up for a private trip to the Perfume Pagoda, a complex of Buddhist temples and pagodas about 2 hours south of Hanoi. Last night, the receptionist told me that the trip would leave at 8 a.m. “It’s hot, you leave early” she said. Of course, we slept in this morning and didn’t get rolling until 10 a.m., for which we’d pay the price.

Traffic was horrible getting out of town. An accident — one of 30 daily, according to our guide, Zoom — created a monster gridlock that set us back another hour. Today was also the peak of the bi-annual rice harvest here, so the streets of the countryside were filled with drying plants, creating an obstacle course that delayed us even further.

By the time we arrived in the town of My Doc, it was close to noon and the sun was at its highest peak. The air was thick with humidity. It couldn’t get much worse until we learned that we’d now be treated to an hour’s boat ride, paddled by a poor Vietnamese woman who looked out on the empty river — then looked back at us and cursed our arrival. At least the weather gave us an excuse to buy these really dope conical hats.

Properly sun-screened (for you Grandma!), the four of us squeezed onto a tiny boat and squatted uncomfortably in our seats. Zoom gave us some umbrellas to shield us from the sun. Then, the serious sweat started.

We would later agree that we sweat more in the next several hours than we probably have in our entire lives. If you have also ever tried squatting for 60 minutes (why you would, I’m not sure), you know how terribly uncomfortable it can become — with limbs falling asleep and aching backs. Needless to say, by the time we reached the shore, we were somewhat delirious from the heat and the squat.

Just when it couldn’t get any better, our guide told us that the cable car we had thought would bring us to the top of Huong Tich Mountain might no longer be running — since all the other tourists had come through several hours earlier — and we would have to walk the 4 kilometers to its peak. This was not what we wanted to hear. Luckily, a huge group of Korean tourists had arrived a couple of minutes before us and they warranted the cable car being turned on for one trip. We rejoiced and hopped on board.

At the peak of Huong Tich was the most sacred temple of the Perfume Pagoda. It was built into a cave in the 15th century and is visited each January through March by millions of pilgrims. The cave was a remarkable place, and not just because it was so cool that you could see your breath. Zoom explained all the shrines to us and then invited us to rub a dollar bill on a special rock for prosperity and take one drop of water to our bodies for good health.

The experience was almost transformative — with our body temperatures lowered to normal, we found this a remarkably peaceful and tranquil spot — that made the entire journey worth it. (We think.)

We took the cable car back down and then had lunch before visiting a few of the other surrounding temples. Zoom was able to charter us a motorboat back to the mainland, so we avoided another hour of squatting in the sun. Our driver returned us to the Elegance by around 6 p.m., where we took the most amazing showers, relaxed and then packed for tomorrow morning, when we leave for Halong Bay.

Day 73
Hanoi, Vietnam

With humidity inching towards 100 percent, Hanoi was a complete swamp this morning. We couldn’t let that stop us from seeing the city though, so after all becoming millionaires (16,000 dong to $1USD exchange) we hired a guide and driver (with a well air-conditioned car) to show us around. Our first stop was the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum Complex, which like Mao in Beijing, is considered a holy site. Vietnamese queue by the thousands to see Uncle Ho in his glass sarcophagus — except from September to December when his body is sent to Russia for “restoration.”

Afterwards, we visited the somewhat strange Ho Chi Minh Museum, filled with exhibits singing the former Communist ruler’s praises. The complex grounds had a few other sights within walking distance, including the One Pillar Pagoda and the impressive Presidential Palace, a grand building constructed in 1906 and used by the French during occupation that stood in stark contrast to the simple stilt house we saw that Ho later ruled from.

We loaded back into the car for a short drive to the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology, which introduced us to the country’s 54 ethnic groups. Our favorite was the Bahnar, who had this really sweet traditional communal house where we were served a cup of steaming tea (exactly what we wanted in 95 degree heat).

Next stop after a quick noodle lunch: the Temple of Literature (Van Mieu), built and dedicated to Confucius in 1070 and later established as Vietnam’s first university (nowhere near as solid as UNC).

It would be impossible to come here and not visit Hoa Lo Prison, ironically nicknamed the “Hanoi Hilton” by U.S. POWs during the Vietnam War. We saw John McCain’s flight suit and toured the wretched facility, which was originally built by the French to detain Vietnamese. Afterwards, our guide took us to the Ngoc Son Temple, a meditative spot that sits on an island in the middle of Hoan Kiem Lake.

With our jam-packed day complete, we headed back to the hotel to rest. Our tour included a traditional water puppet show later that evening, but we couldn’t find the motivation. Instead, after struggling again to locate an open restaurant, we were ripped off by another taxi driver before making our way to the Hanoi Hilton — the real one — for drinks and air conditioning.